Sometimes, we’re busy. We’re busy thinking about geo-political trends, the next 10-mile run, or the latest cricket match. We’re too busy to be the smiling decoration that we, as women, are expected to be. Our faces can be thoughtful, angry, sad, peaceful, meditative, or bored. So stop, Caribbean men. Stop walking up to us, harassing us, and demanding that we smile. We do not have to smile for you. Our smiles are our own.
(via xoxosheba)
Poem - Gender Equality
I have traveled far
but where have I reached?
I have adapted to roles
that have changed like tides of sea.
I give you all,
you take all from me
yet won’t place me where I am meant to be,
wont give me what is due to me.
Not only you,
all of humanity.
It started when I was a child,
even as toddler it was instilled in me,
with dolls and delicate toys
that evoke
femininity,
subordination,
inferiority.
As I grew older I saw your dominance
all around.
Enforced by society
with labels
placed on me
when I’m ‘scantily clad’,
if I am with more than one man,
if my kids have different dads.
Fear of being labeled
keep me in line
not all but a lot of the time.
Even media uplifts you
implying you’re better,
stronger,
smarter,
the heights all wisdom,
leaders of nations.
Let me tell you a few things
you know nothing about,
menstruation,
pregnancy,
child birth, lactation.
Educational factors handicap
indirectly teaching me
economic dependency.
In the workplace
is a glass ceiling
that I’ve cracked
but can’t seem to break.
I see your dominance in every institution—
except the home.
Here, suddenly I know whats best.
Even if you’re there,
you’re marginal
children fatherless.
So after work I come home
cook,
wash,
iron,
clean everyone’s mess—
unpaid.
Life’s a plantation
I’m a house slave.
End of the day, tired as hell
still sexually available to you.
When you plant your seed
I bear
again
and again
building nations that you will rule,
nations that will disregard me
like you did,
like you still do.
Your masculinity enforced
through religion and myth too.
In the Church
You always preaching to me.
Why can’t I give a word to you?
Don’t feel so bad when I recognise
The inequality isn’t only in my house
its in the Lord’s house too.
You preach that God gave Adam’s rib to Eve
and said in Genesis 3:16
that you should rule over me.
You don’t interpret it with guidance and love
which is the way God rules over us all
but with dominance and aggression,
treating me like a mere possession.
I’m so much more.
Your other half—is me.
Spiritually broken,
can’t fulfill our true purpose,
or what were meant to be.
Man and woman both incomplete,
never to be whole,
until we stand abreast,
as two bodies,
two minds,
one soul.
If all other enforcement tactics fail
forms of harrasment and violence
is an ever present
and effective way
in which you intimidate me
You feel even more powerful
seeing me bent head and lowered eyes
or back bent and on my knees.
Its not enough that you own me
You must ruin me too.
All these factors
over time
internalized by me
developing a temperament and sense
of inferiority
that wont end
its a cycle you see
I’ll continue to instil it
in the ones that come after
it will become a part of them
as much as its a part of me
How will I ever break free?
I don’t have the answer,
it was not taught to me.
I have travelled far
but where have I reached?
I have to adapted to roles
that have changed like tides of sea.
I give you all,
you take all from me
yet won’t place me where I am meant to be,
wont give me what is due to me.
Until then in God I abide,
praying for the day
you pull me from underneath you
and place me at your side.
If not in this one
then in my next life.
Spoken by: the voice of past and present dutiful daughters, mothers, and wives.
© G. Emmanuel 2009
Anonymous asked: Hey simone interesting post and no I'm not a Woman but a Man. I agree with what your saying, since believe me or not have self-control. Anyway since we both are qualified in Sociology at the tertiary level let me ask this question. There is as you know a psychosocial relationship between the sexes. So is it that if a woman wears a short skirt she herself thinks its sexy or is that men like to see more skin and they think its sexy? in other words is a woman's thoughts on what is sexy based on men
You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.
― Margaret Atwood, The Robber Bride
Dear Anonymous,
I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean by “psychosocial relationship” but I do know that the relationship between men and women is influenced by many factors: physical/hormonal; cultural; social.
So, it may be perfectly natural to want to be sexually attractive to the opposite sex, but perhaps the way one determines what that looks like, depends on our cultural definitions of what is ‘sexy’, as well as social ‘gender scripts’ about how women should behave towards men, and men towards women.
Certainly, we know that all modern societies are still greatly driven by the ‘male perspective’. So that the way both women and men come to view the world is based on a male-centred value system. Therein is the conundrum faced in the above quote by Margaret Atwood.
Were you alive when baby-doll dresses were all the rage? I loved me some baby-doll dresses. My boyfriend hated them. Loose and shapeless; not what he thought of as sexy. So maaaaaybe when I was going out with him, I miiiiiight have maybe put on something else. Or not.
What am I trying to say? Well, just that it’s all mixed up and although we are all influenced by these various cultural, social and biological factors, each individual may be more, or less influenced by one factor over the others. In turn this will therefore differently determine the way we relate to men or women, or the choices we make about how we want to present ourselves - in dress, in attitude, in demeanor.
What is important to remember in the context of gender equity and justice is that regardless of a woman’s choice of dress, and for whatever reasons she has made that choice, it does not give others the right to infringe upon her human rights to safety, freedom of movement and freedom from harassment - verbal or physical.
International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women (IDEVAW)
On 17th December 1999, by Resolution 54/134, the United Nations General Assembly designated 25th November as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. This date was chosen in recognition of the brutal assassination if the three Mirabal sisters, Patria, Minerva and Maria from the Dominican Republic (D.R) who took a stand against the Dominican Dictator, Rafael Trujillo.
Trujillo was President of D.R from 1930 to 1938 and again from 1942 to 1952, at which point he became its dictator. The sisters came from a prosperous Dominican family and they were all well educated, at a time when this was not always the case. Initially only Minerva was involved in the political movement against Trujillo, but later her two sisters and most of her family also became active.
The anti-Trujillo movement was growing and by the late 1950s all three sisters were involved in the underground movement to overthrow Trujillo. They were repeatedly arrested and so were their husbands and for a long period they were in and out of prison. They became almost like folk heroes. In early November 1960, Trujillo declared that his two problems were the Church and the Mirabal sisters.
On 25 November 1960, the sisters were assassinated (ambushed and clubbed to death) in an “accident” as they were being driven to visit their husbands who were in prison. The accident caused much public outcry, and shocked and enraged the nation. The brutal assassination of the Mirabal sisters was one of the events that helped propel the anti-Trujillo movement, and within a year, the Trujillo dictatorship came to an end. and Trujillo arranged for them to be assassinated.
In 1981 women’s activists began to recognize the day as being pivotal in the fight against violence to women and as the women’s movement grew, November 25 came to be regarded as a special day, ultimately leading to the adoption of the UN Resolution in 1999. The sisters are known as the “Unforgettable Butterflies” and have become a symbol against the victimization of women.
To mark the event, men and boys are urged to wear white ribbons as a visible pledge never to commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women.
UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon pointed out that violence against women and girls is widespread throughout the globe. This violence, he said, includes rape, domestic violence, harassment at work, abuse in school, female genital mutilation and sexual violence in armed conflicts. He went on to say that men are predominantly responsible for this violence against women and our challenge is to ensure that the message of zero tolerance is heard far and wide.
Many young men, he said, still grow up surrounded by outmoded stereotypes. It is up to these young people to generate the lead that can help to end the pandemic of violence.
Note: IDEVAW is being celebrated today - Monday, November 26 - since November 25 was on a Sunday.
Click like and share if you support the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women (IDEVAW).
Today November 20th is Universal Children’s Day. Listen to how these kids are using their organisation - Random Acts of Good Deeds- to raise awareness about child sexual abuse in Trinidad and Tobago.
Condemn Violent and Sexual Crimes against Women and Children
A major motivating factor in creating WomenSpeak - Women Tell Their Stories of Discrimination was the belief that using first-person narratives of Caribbean women in telling the truth about women’s lives, would lead to greater understanding, empathy and a change in attitude towards those societal norms and practices that give rise to discrimination and violence against women.
Journalists definitely have a part to play in the way stories about intimate partner violence are reported and discussed. Journalists have a point of view and they absolutely do influence public perception of the issue of violence against women. To simply roll out the gruesome details of women being murdered by men, day after day, is just not good enough. I don’t buy the argument that the journalist’s role is to be neutral and just report the facts. The way facts are reported also influences the perception of the story, how the public interprets the facts, and the language people use in their daily lives to speak about violence - not a ‘domestic dispute’.
What do you think the journalist’s role should be with regard to dealing with the issue of violence against women in the news.
I’m Not Dead.
Hello Friends,
I haven’t been here for awhile. I haven’t posted and I haven’t solicited postings. The thing about activism is this: sometimes you get tired, sometimes you feel like your efforts are insignificant, sometimes you feel like a failed feminist and you think “What can I offer anyone?”
Of course the answer is “Anything you have”. To listen. To tell your story. To share someone else’s story. To say to someone “I hear you”. To pick someone up when they fall. To wait when they say they’re not ready. To keep a lifeline open. To learn more. To ask “What can I do?”
And sometimes you need community. And sometimes community disappoints, like we all do. But we are ALL great. If even in a moment. And sometimes we just need someone to remind us that we are worthwhile, significant. That our small efforts do land somewhere.
Lynn Sweeting, who has been publishing Caribbean women’s writing for many years at the WomanSpeak Journal (yeah, I know, great minds and all that) sent me a facebook message one day and said “Simone, I want you to submit something to the journal. Your anti-violence voice is SO IMPORTANT, I want to showcase it.”
And so I submitted a poem I didn’t think would find a home anywhere else besides a journal like Lynn’s. And maybe someone reads it and it touches something; helps them see a situation with new eyes. So, even when we feel like we have nothing to give, someone reminds us that every little bit counts.
Etiquette for Fine Young Cannibals
A woman walks into a bar and says
What’s for dinner?
The bartender says
Ma’am, we don’t sell food here
She kicks off her high heels and sits on a stool
What about that bowl of cherries? You
think I’m a fool?
The bartender says
Those aren’t cherries, they’re women we’ve raped
The woman says
You think I’m a fool? I know the difference
between food and rape
Rape is bloody, is hung up in display cases
at the front of restaurants
People walk by and pick out the one
that looks overdone
have the waiters take it to the kitchen
chop it up and serve it with a side of white rice
Ma’am, says the bartender, this is an elite establishment
we don’t deal in dead. All our rapes are 100% guilt free
tiny bite-size murders
dressed in machismo and
apathy
buried
left to ferment
in a bed of self-doubt
and silence.
Simone Leid
Tonya Hayes of Code Red talks about the recent Catch A Fyah Caribbean Feminist Grounding held in Barbados.
For us what this meant was the need to come together as Caribbean feminists from different countries, religious backgrounds and ethnicities and learn and share with each other. By grounding we meant getting to the root of what we saw needed to change in our societies but also the source of our collective strength.
Trafficking in the Caribbean
Marissa Thomas is Programme Coordinator for Trinidad at the The Caribbean Vulnerable Communities Coalition (CVC) and El Centro de Orientación e Investigación Integral (COIN) Caribbean Vulnerabilised Groups Project: a five-year regional project which responds to HIV and AIDS among Caribbean sex workers, men who have sex with men, socially excluded youth, drug users and prisoners. A Ph.D. candidate in Cultural Studies at UWI, St. Augustine, Marissa also volunteers with organizations such as the YMCA, Cyril Ross Nursery and CARe. She speaks to WomenSpeak about the situation of Trafficking in Persons in the Caribbean.
What is the extent of Trafficking in the Caribbean? What categories of Trafficked persons most often occur in the Caribbean?
Trafficking is a very real phenomenon in the Caribbean. It is fueled by the feminization of poverty, gender based violence, and aspirations and hope for a better life. Also, it is often facilitated by corrupt immigration and police officers and other intermediaries across the region.
The counter-trafficking unit at COIN provides support, training, legal aid, medical, psychological and social services to trafficked women in the Dominican Republic. In 2010, COIN recorded that of 21 cases of women trafficked from the Dominican Republic, 16 of those women were trafficked to Trinidad.
There are many forms of human trafficking. The UN definition includes (but is not limited to) coercion and force in the sex trade. Although the prevalent form includes trafficking in women for sexual exploitation, there are other categories such as trafficking for forced labour, including domestic labour, for the caring market, begging, forced marriage, and commercial exploitation of children for industries such as tourism, trafficking in organs, and for illicit activities such as smuggling of drugs.
Are some Caribbean islands more prone to Trafficking than others?
It is important to point out that some Caribbean countries, like the Dominican Republic, are not just receivers of trafficked women, but countries of origin, transit and reception of trafficking in persons. In the Dominican Republic, persons who reported cases of trafficking have reported their involvement through travel mechanisms such as having their visas arranged, invitations to secure work contracts, or through arranged marriages. Often they work as dancers, in restaurants and bars, in domestic work, or care for the elderly. There are cases of trafficking, however, up and down the Caribbean. COIN has worked on cases from the Dominican Republic to Antigua to Trinidad.
How can you identify someone who might be a victim of trafficking?
There are signs that indicate a person may be a victim of trafficking. Victims are usually afraid to disclose information about their status because they may be fearful of their trafficker, or imminent harm toward their families abroad. Another indicator is that victims involved in trafficking may not have possession of their own identity or travel documents, such as a valid ID card or passport, are never alone, and have no agency or power over any personal and daily decision-making.
Victims of trafficking are said to experience a range of physical, verbal or psychological abuse. They are also at risk for health issues such as HIV and STIs, and may display physical signs of rape or sexual abuse. Other physical problems may be evident in victims such as malnutrition, psychological disorders, poor personal hygiene, or other untreated medical problems.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about Trafficking or about persons who are Trafficked?
It is important to understand the difference between sex work and trafficking, and
their linkages. Sex work is a valid choice of employment, by men and women who chose to sell sexual services as an economic activity. Many women in the region exercise their right to self-determination and enter into this work freely. But sex work must not be confused or conflated with trafficking or smuggling in persons, which are crimes committed against people and not employment choices. Trafficking in persons is the illegal trade of human beings for the purposes of sexual exploitation, forced labour, or reproductive slavery and is a modern-day form of slavery. It is about control and power and exploitation.
What work does COIN do with regard to Trafficking in Women and Children?
COIN is an NGO with 25 years experience of working with marginalized populations. COIN works with and for sex workers and networks of sex workers to increase their access to sexual reproductive healthcare, but COIN in the Dominican Republic also has a trafficking centre which supports people who have been victims of trafficking. COIN focuses on the promotion and protection of the human rights of trafficked women through prevention and direct assistance to victims. COIN opened a care centre in the Dominican Republic for returned trafficked women in 2003. Trafficked women receive medical, psychological and legal assistance as well as training for socioeconomic reintegration. COIN also conducts advocacy for trafficking victims at the national, regional and global level, as well as before the UN, and has conducted research on the trafficking and smuggling of people across the Caribbean.
How has your work with COIN impacted you personally?
Working with COIN/ CVC has given me a greater capacity to impact the lives of vulnerabilized communities. We use the term vulnerabilized because it recognizes that sex workers, men who have sex with men, youth, prisoners and drug-users are not inherently ‘vulnerable’ but instead put at increased risk for HIV and STIs due to structural conditions such as gender-inequality and homophobia, and systematic and institutionalized stigma and discrimination and other human rights abuses. The term ‘vulnerabilized’ also recognizes the agency of communities traditionally labeled as ‘most-at-risk’ and ‘vulnerable’ and THEIR power to change the course of the HIV epidemic.
My experience at COIN/CVC has been overwhelmingly positive. It has encouraged me to be a stronger advocate, especially toward women and girls who may be in difficult situations. I look forward to a long-term and wonderful future with this type of work.
