Anonymous asked: Hey simone interesting post and no I'm not a Woman but a Man. I agree with what your saying, since believe me or not have self-control. Anyway since we both are qualified in Sociology at the tertiary level let me ask this question. There is as you know a psychosocial relationship between the sexes. So is it that if a woman wears a short skirt she herself thinks its sexy or is that men like to see more skin and they think its sexy? in other words is a woman's thoughts on what is sexy based on men
I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean by “psychosocial relationship” but I do know that the relationship between men and women is influenced by many factors: physical/hormonal; cultural; social.
So, it may be perfectly natural to want to be sexually attractive to the opposite sex, but perhaps the way one determines what that looks like, depends on our cultural definitions of what is ‘sexy’, as well as social ‘gender scripts’ about how women should behave towards men, and men towards women.
Certainly, we know that all modern societies are still greatly driven by the ‘male perspective’. So that the way both women and men come to view the world is based on a male-centred value system. Therein is the conundrum faced in the above quote by Margaret Atwood.
Were you alive when baby-doll dresses were all the rage? I loved me some baby-doll dresses. My boyfriend hated them. Loose and shapeless; not what he thought of as sexy. So maaaaaybe when I was going out with him, I miiiiiight have maybe put on something else. Or not.
What am I trying to say? Well, just that it’s all mixed up and although we are all influenced by these various cultural, social and biological factors, each individual may be more, or less influenced by one factor over the others. In turn this will therefore differently determine the way we relate to men or women, or the choices we make about how we want to present ourselves - in dress, in attitude, in demeanor.
What is important to remember in the context of gender equity and justice is that regardless of a woman’s choice of dress, and for whatever reasons she has made that choice, it does not give others the right to infringe upon her human rights to safety, freedom of movement and freedom from harassment - verbal or physical.
“Pssst. I own you.”
As we approach the end of the Anti-Street Harassment Week, I’d like to talk a little about why Street Harassment is not just a sexual harassment issue, but the practice and reinforcement of male dominance.
A few weeks ago I went to the post office a block away from where I work. As I was walking back to my office, I passed by a car park with a wire fence. From inside the car park I heard a male voice say “Sweet Face.” I kept walking and he continued “Sweet Face, Sweet Face.”
I decided that I just couldn’t let this one pass. Not today. I wouldn’t let my psychological and physical space be corrupted by this man’s intrusion. I turned to look at him as I kept walking.
“Don’t call me that”
“What I should call you, then”
“I don’t want you calling me at all”
He had been following me all along the inside perimeter of the car park till I turned the corner. He raised his voice.
“Tell me your name. If you don’t tell me your name I am going to call out to you every single day you pass here.”
It was a threat.
Second International Anti-Street Harassment Day
March 18th, 2012 marks the second year that International Anti-Street Harassment Day is taking place in countries all over the world. Last year the WomenSpeak Project joined founder of the event Holly Kearl of Stop Street Harassment in promoting the event and encouraging Caribbean Women To tell their own stories and post their own Anti-Street Harassment Manifestos. We also had an original art submission by Tracey Chan who this year has partnered with Stephanie Leitch to share artwork as part of a Street Harassment Art Exhibit held in Washington, DC jointly curated by Holly Kearl and the Deaf Abused Women’s Network.
This year the Meet Us on the Street Campaign runs for an entire week from March 18-24 and various organisations and individuals are taking part in activities that will highlight the issue of Street Harassment and how it negatively impacts women’s freedom of movement and inflicts fear, intimidation and violence on a daily basis on a whole half of the world’s population.
Artwork collaboration by Tracey Chan and Stephanie Leitch
I felt like the perpetrator.
I decided to switch up my exercise routine and take a walk early one Saturday morning. I wore leggings (long tights), with a long tank top coming down to the tops of my thighs.
At one house on the corner, a group of young men were sitting outside with a female relative. One said, “Good Morning.” I looked at him and repeated, “Good Morning”.
As soon as I turned the corner, I heard behind me, “I like dem legs.” I reacted. I flipped him off.
The woman commented that if she was out for a walk, she would not go around showing people the ‘middle finger’.
I realised that the street I had turned down was lonely. There were no people around since the day was early. I could hear the men and woman still talking about me.
I felt scared. If one of them decided he was insulted enough…
I walked faster, thinking about the consequences of my actions. I felt like the perpetrator.
Then I remembered, at age fifteen, walking home from my exercise class in the evening, wearing T-shirts and long pants, and having men call me ‘sexy’, ‘darling’, ‘beautiful’. But never to my face…always just as I walked past. I remembered feeling uncomfortable, always on the lookout for someone who might decide to use more than words.
I avoid that house now. I no longer feel like walking. I haven’t worn my favorite pair of leggings (long tights) since.
Deputy Prime Minister of SVG tells women - Dress properly. Don’t tempt men
Deputy PM and Education Minister of St. Vincent and the Grenadines makes incredibly outrageous and dangerous statements which essentially blame women and the way they dress for the violence perpetrated against them by men. This is the reason why violence against women is so rampant throughout the Caribbean: because we have a culture which tacitly excuses and tries to explain away the murders, rapes and beatings as something that women contribute to by the things they do, the clothes they wear, the places they go. As long as people feel they are justified and have ‘cause’ to ‘put women in their place’ this violence will continue.
“I want to ask our young women, in particular to dress themselves properly. I know that sometimes, their mode of dress is not good at all and it is important that they dress themselves and do not give temptation to our men.”
SVG: Deputy PM tells women to dress properly and not tempt men. She says that women’s breasts are intended to feed children and comfort their husbands. This hetero/sexist drivel was offered in response to the high level of violence against women and girls and femicides in St. Vincent and the Grenadines. What do you think of the Deputy PM’s remarks?
“Whistling is for DOGS! Say good afternoon!”
This is an issue that is near and dear to my heart. It is something limits my life. I developed somewhat of a phobia of walking the streets of Port of Spain after moving here because of this. The leering looks, men staring directly at my breasts and private parts, men making comments to me or about me. I rarely ever walk the streets anymore. I don’t even like walking around the Savannah. The men in the cars hiss and whistle. I cannot stand it.
I remember being on Frederick Street one day, the busiest street in Port of Spain. I was having a conversation with someone on the pavement and a construction worker high up on a building was incessant, whistling to get my attention. At first I ignored him but eventually I lost my temper. “Why you whistling at me so!” I shouted up at him. “Whistling is for DOGS! Say good afternoon!” The entire block burst into laughter and the man was visibly chagrined. He smiled lamely, apologized, and told me good afternoon, to which I responded politely.
Interview with Debra Providence
WomenSpeak talks to Debra Providence about her poem While Walking Up Back Street
WS: It feels like this poem is based on a real incident that happened to you? What made you decide to write about it?
DP : Yes it is based on a real incident, of course, without the blood and mucas. I decided to write about it because in the moment I felt reduced to a piece of my anatomy. I felt that the comments in essence placed more value on the breasts than the person and writing the poem was my way of confronting being objectified in that way.
WS: Your poem is quite graphic, even violent. Do you feel that sexual harassment in public spaces is a kind of violence against women?
DP: The incident triggered a strong emotional response and I wanted to write in a way that captured my state of mind. On a level I do feel that sexual harrassment, street or office, is a kind of violence. It strips away your wholeness as a person, your layers and complexities and reduces you to a thing. It is something women experience every day, but that doesn’t make it any less disconcerting when it happens, for me at least.
Added to this is the fact that I have a keen interest in the Science Fiction and Speculative (SF) ficiton genres which often depticts the human body as being capable of trancsending pre-given limitations.I love the “What if?” aspect of SF. I thought, what if the persona could give the copper exactly what he asked,